Terms of Service

Last updated: 30 August 2026

Rela helps couples and individuals pay closer attention to their relationship. To do that well, we need a few agreements. They are written as plainly as we could manage, but they are binding: by using Rela you agree to these terms.

1. Who we are and what these terms cover

Rela is the relationship app and service offered through rela.nu, app.rela.nu and the Rela apps for iOS and Android (together: “Rela” or “the service”). Rela is based in the Netherlands. Questions about these terms? Email us at hallo@rela.nu.

These terms apply to everything Rela offers: the free relationship check and Spicy Check on the website, your account, check-ins, goals, insights, the AI coach and anything we add in the future. Our privacy and cookie policy forms part of these terms and explains how we handle your data.

2. What Rela is, and what it is not

Rela is a digital tool. It asks questions, shows you where you stand, offers conversation starters and makes suggestions. Nothing more, and that is deliberate.

Rela is not:

• couples therapy, psychological care, coaching by a human, medical care or any other form of professional help;
• a substitute for a therapist, psychologist, doctor, mediator, lawyer or any other professional;
• a diagnosis of you, your partner or your relationship;
• a crisis or emergency service. Rela is not monitored by people and does not respond to emergencies.

If you are in an unsafe situation, if there is violence involved, or if you are thinking about harming yourself, do not use Rela for that. In immediate danger, call your local emergency number (112 in the EU, 999 in the UK, 911 in the US). If you need someone to talk to, contact a crisis line in your country; in the Netherlands that is 113 Suicide Prevention (call 113 or 0800-0113, 113.nl) and, for domestic violence, Veilig Thuis (0800-2000).

3. Artificial intelligence (AI)

A large part of Rela is powered by AI. The AI coach, the insights, the summaries, the conversation prompts, the reports and many other texts are generated automatically by language models from external AI providers (currently Anthropic for text and ElevenLabs for speech). When you talk to the coach, you are talking to a computer, not a person.

This means:

• AI makes mistakes. Answers can be wrong, incomplete, inappropriate, contradictory or simply a poor fit for your situation. A confident tone says nothing about accuracy.
• Everything is a suggestion. What the coach says, what a report concludes and what an insight shows is an idea to think about. It is not advice you can rely on the way you would rely on a professional, and it is not an instruction.
• You decide. You are responsible for the choices you make, including choices prompted by something Rela or the AI coach said. If you are weighing an important decision about your relationship, health, money, family or safety, discuss it with a qualified professional.
• No guarantees. We do not promise that Rela will improve or save your relationship, or lead to any particular outcome. Scores, percentiles and trends are indicative and based on your own answers, not on a scientifically validated assessment.
• Check for yourself. If you use something from Rela outside the app (in a conversation with your partner or a professional, for example), it is up to you to judge whether it is accurate and appropriate.

4. Your account

• You must be 18 or older to use Rela. Some parts, such as the Spicy Check, deal with intimacy and sexuality and are explicitly intended for adults only.
• You provide accurate details and keep your login credentials to yourself. Anything that happens through your account is attributed to you.
• One person, one account. You do not create an account for or on behalf of someone else without their consent.
• If you notice someone else has access to your account, change your password and let us know.

5. Together with your partner

Rela works alone, and it works together. If you connect with a partner, the following applies:

• You only connect with someone who agrees to it themselves. Never use Rela to monitor, pressure or spy on anyone.
• Answers you give within a shared feature become visible to your partner once you have both finished. That is exactly how the app works. Only share what you are willing to share.
• What your partner shares is meant to be confidential. Do not use it outside your relationship or against your partner.
• You can disconnect at any time through the app. Whatever has already been shared has already been seen; we cannot undo that.
• We are not responsible for anything your partner says or does, including within Rela.

6. House rules

You use Rela only for its intended purpose: working on your own relationship. You may not:

• use the service for anything unlawful, or anything that harms, intimidates or deceives someone else;
• enter content that is illegal, infringes the rights of others, or contains third-party data without their consent;
• attempt to abuse, manipulate or repurpose the AI coach (for example to generate harmful, illegal or misleading content);
• circumvent security measures, overload the service, collect data automatically (scraping), or copy, decompile or reverse-engineer the software;
• resell, rent out or commercially offer Rela or any part of it without our written permission.

If you break these rules, we may restrict or close your account, with or without warning.

7. Your content

Everything you enter into Rela (answers, check-ins, goals, messages to the coach) remains yours. You only grant us the right to use that content to the extent needed to make the service work for you: storing it, showing it to you and your connected partner, having it processed by our AI providers to generate responses and insights, and keeping it secure. Our privacy policy explains how we handle your data.

You are responsible for what you enter. Make sure you have the right to share it.

8. Our intellectual property

Rela, its name, logo, design, questionnaires, texts, software and underlying methods are and remain the property of Rela or our licensors. You receive a personal, non-transferable and revocable right to use Rela in accordance with these terms. We grant no further rights.

9. Fees

Rela is currently free. We may introduce paid features or subscriptions in the future. If we do, you will see clearly in advance what something costs, how long it runs and how to cancel, and we will ask you to agree to that separately. If you buy something through the App Store or Google Play, that store's rules on payment, renewal and refunds apply as well.

10. Availability and changes

We do our best to keep Rela working well, but we provide the service as is and as available. We do not guarantee that Rela will always be reachable, work without errors, or be fit for any particular purpose. Maintenance, outages, changes at our providers and events beyond our control may affect the service temporarily or permanently.

We may change Rela at any time: add, change or remove features, and discontinue the service in whole or in part. For significant changes we will let you know, so that you can download your data and close your account if you wish.

11. Liability

Rela is a tool; how you use it and what you do with the results is up to you. Therefore, to the fullest extent permitted by law:

• We are not liable for any damage arising from the use of, or inability to use, Rela. This includes, without limitation: decisions you make based on the AI coach, reports, scores or other content; changes in your relationship, family, health, wellbeing or financial situation; arguments, break-ups or divorce; the sharing of answers with your partner; the conduct of your partner or third parties; loss of or damage to data; and errors, interruptions or unavailability of the service.
• We are in no event liable for indirect damage, consequential damage, lost income, non-material damage or lost opportunities.
• If, despite the above, we are found liable, our total liability is limited to the amount you paid Rela in the twelve months before the event, or, if greater, € 50.
• These limitations do not apply where the damage results from intent or deliberate recklessness on the part of Rela itself, nor to the extent mandatory consumer law does not allow a limitation.

If you want to hold us liable, tell us as soon as possible and in any case within twelve months of discovering the damage. After that, your claim lapses.

12. Indemnification

You indemnify Rela, and the people and companies working for or with Rela, against all third-party claims (including from your partner or ex-partner) and the resulting costs, that relate to your use of Rela, the content you enter or share, or a breach of these terms by you.

13. Ending

You can stop at any time: delete your account from your account page. Your data will then be permanently deleted, as described in our privacy policy. We may restrict your access or close your account if you breach these terms, if we are legally required to, or if we discontinue the service. Provisions that by their nature continue (such as liability, indemnification and intellectual property) remain in effect afterwards.

14. Changes to these terms

We may amend these terms. The latest version is always on this page, with the date at the top. For important changes we will let you know in the app or by email. If you continue to use Rela afterwards, you accept the new version. If you disagree with a change, you can close your account.

15. Other provisions

• If any provision of these terms is invalid, the rest remains in force. The invalid provision is replaced by a valid one that comes as close as possible to it.
• We may transfer our rights and obligations under these terms to another company, for example in the event of an acquisition. You cannot transfer your account.
• If we do not act on a breach on one occasion, that does not mean we waive our rights.
• In the event of a discrepancy between the Dutch and English versions of these terms, the Dutch version prevails.

16. Governing law and disputes

These terms are governed by Dutch law. Have a complaint? Email us first at hallo@rela.nu; we will try to work it out together. If that fails, the courts of the Netherlands have jurisdiction. As a consumer, you may, within one month after we invoke this clause, opt for the court that is competent under the law. You can also use the European online dispute resolution platform.

Contact

Rela
The Netherlands
hallo@rela.nu